I Wanna Feel It
by Misaki Inuzuka
Summary: A Sai one-shot written for Eliona on . I decided to publish it here. Please read and review.


Stars glittered in the sky, each one a memory of those lost to us. A new star was born everyday – spirits of those who were lost. Her mother was up there, the brightest one she was sure. That star seemed to always be there at night, watching over Asami and her sister Ritsu. Her father was right next to her, a little less bright. But then, he never wanted to be seen much. He was always kind of withdrawn and shy. A small tear crept down her face as she thought of her lost parents. How could she live without them? Things were fine, sure, but her only job was at the Takahashi Family Restaurant passed down from her mother to Ritsu. She didn't have the best relationship with her sister and they fought often, some arguments occurring in the restaurant where Asami got blamed for any customers that were scared off.

Her hand, tan from days spent at the beach with Hinata and Tenten, reached up to wipe the tears that fell from her blue eyes. It wasn't fair that they had to be taken away from her like that. Ninjas shouldn't have to kill to win their battles, right? One would know to give up before they died, she was sure. Then she shook her head. When she had explained this to Ritsu, her brunette sister had nearly bitten her head off. If ninjas didn't kill, their enemies could fight another day.

"Hello Asami." Sai greeted from in front of her, displaying a fake smile.

She sighed. "You shouldn't smile unless you mean it."

"Why not?" He asked her, seeing nothing wrong with it.

"Because you should only display emotions you feel." Asami explained.

"So you feel sadness?" Sai asked, tilting his head slightly.

Asami's eyes widened and she looked down. "Yes…." She murmured.

"Why?" He asked. "What does that feel like?"

Asami thought about it for a moment. "It feels like there's a hole that's been torn from your heart – you would think it would make your heart lighter, but it makes it feel heavier."

Sai seemed to think about that and was silent for a moment. Then he spoke again. "Why do you cry when you are sad?"

"Because…it's almost as if by crying, you are releasing what sad feeling have built up in you." She explained.

Sai nodded. "I think I understand."

Asami smiled slightly and started walking again. "Why do you smile if you are sad?" Sai asked, following her.

"Because I'm glad you understand." Asami replied.

"Okay." He was silent and Asami listened to the noise of the crickets. Their music may seem annoying to some, but it was beautiful to her.

"Will you teach me more about emotions tomorrow, Asami?" Sai asked.

"Of course." Asami replied. "After all, the rest of my team is on a mission."

The two walked on in silence, until they reached her house. "Thank you for walking with me." She told Sai, wrapping her arms around him in an appreciative hug.

"Do you love me Asami?" Sai asked.

"I like you as friend." She told him, surprised. "Why?"

"Don't hugs mean love?" Sai questioned, trying to figure out emotions.

"They also mean friendship. Friends hug each other all the time." She explained. "Or they can mean comfort."

Sai nodded. "Okay. Good night Asami."

"Good night, Sai." She replied.

With that said, she turned around and walked inside, smiling slightly. As soon as she opened the door, her sister turned from her spot on the couch. "Who was that boy?" She asked.

Asami glared at her. "Chill, Ritsu, it was Sai."

"Don't tell me to chill. You were late home. What were you two doing?" She questioned accusingly, standing up.

"We weren't doing anything." Asami growled.

"You hugged." She pointed out.

"Oh wow, a hug." She sneered. "It was between friends. You know, like I hug Hinata and Tenten and Lee."

"Hinata and Tenten are girls and I have my doubts about Lee." She replied angrily.

"It's not as bad as you're making it out to be!" She shouted. "It was a friendship hug. It's not like we're fucking!"

"Watch your mouth!" Ristu scolded loudly. "What you Mother think of that?"

"It doesn't matter, you aren't her! You aren't anything _like_ her!" She growled, storming up the stairs to her room, leaving the older girl looking shocked.

Asami collapsed on her bed, tears streaming from her face. Why did she have to die? Before her mother died, Ritsu was nice and they had a great relationship. After she was murdered by a ninja called Kuro along with her father, Ritsu had become annoying and bossy.

~TIME SKIP-NEXT MORNING~

Asami grumbled and sat up straight, woken from the light streaming in from her window. She had a slight headache, but hurried to her closet, grabbing a black dress that stopped halfway down her thighs. She then hurried down the stairs and out the door, ignoring Ritsu's questioning of where she was going. She walked happily down the streets, her blonde hair flowing slightly in the breeze.

"Good morning Asami." Sai's voice floated from behind her. She turned around to see him with a straight face this time.

"No fake smiles." She smiled, then grabbed his hand. "I wanna show you something. C'mon."

Asami dragged him down the streets of Konoha, Sai running after seeming as confused as one can be without much emotion. The people in the streets of Konoha watched as they sped past. Soon they reached their destination – a lake.

"I thought this would be a good place to teach emotions to you." She told him then threw a pebble at the water. "Emotions ripple though humans as water does through the lake."

"Explain," Sai demanded.

Asami looked up. "Look at the sky. The sun is like a smile, bright. The warmth is how you feel inside. The excitement going around among the children and animals is like your happiness wanting to burst from your body to share with everyone. Is that understandable?"

Sai nodded. "Yes. What about other emotions?"

"Well…sadness is like a rainy day. The rain is, of course, like your tears – or the tears you want to shed. The cold of it all is like how you feel inside and tend to treat others. However, there are happy tears too – tears of joy. Like when it rains but the sun is still out. You warmth spreads and is existent, but your tears still rain down. Do you get it?" Even Asami found that slightly confusing, but Sai nodded.

"Tell me about hugs." He demanded.

Asami looked around and plucked a flower bud from the grass. "Hugs are like this flower bud. The petals are wrapped around the bud, sheltering in it and keeping it warm."

"What if the inside is cold?" Sai asked, tilting his head slightly.

"Well…think of puppies. They're warm like hugs, protect you like the arms wrapped around you do, can be happy or sad, and…they're loved by most people. Um…yah." Asami said slowly, rubbing the back of her head.

To her surprise, Sai nodded. "What feelings do they emit?"

"Well…that varies. If it's between friends, it can be happiness or comfort. If it's between two people that are close, it's usually love."

"Love? What's love feel like?" Sai asked.

"Well…I don't know. I've never been in love. But I hear it feels nice. There's warm feelings, and the feeling of wanting to protect them, and the feeling of never wanting to leave their side. It's supposed to feel great." Asami sighed dreamily.

"What do people do when they are in love?"

"Well…they hold hands, they hug, they kiss…and other things." She giggled.

"Do you want to experience love?"

The question caught Asami off guard. "Of course. But there's no one to share it with."

Sai looked at her. "Can we try this emotion? I want to know what it feels like."

"W-what?" Asami stuttered.

"I want to try love. I want to see if it is as good as you say it is." Sai said bluntly.

Asami blinked. "I suppose." She decided. But we'd have to act like a couple. We'd have to _be_ a couple."

Sai smiled a fake smile. "Let's try."

Asami sighed. "What did I say about smiling?"

"Only when I mean it?"

"Exactly."

"Sorry." Sai apologized.

"It's time for me to go." Asami decided, looking at the position of the sun.

"Should I walk you home?" Sai asked.

Asami nodded and smiled. "Yes." She hesitated. "I think….I think we should hold hands."

Sai nodded and stood up, reaching his hand out to help Asami up. She gratefully took his hand and stood up, beginning to walk with him in the direction of her home. The two walked in silence, a blush spread across Asami's face while Sai had a slight smirk. People stared, most in shock, as they passed. No one expected Sai to get a girlfriend. She liked him, but did he like her? It was unlikely. He just wanted to experience love. But would he? Could he if he had no feelings for her? Maybe eventually if they were together long enough. Eventually.

"This is your house." Sai spoke quietly, stopping.

"Thank you, Sai." Asami mumbled and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"What do we do now?" He asked.

Asami blushed deeply. "I think now we're supposed to kiss."

Sai moved in slowly and connected their lips. Before it could turn into making out, Ritsu opened the door. "Get inside, Asami." She ordered, keeping her eyes on Sai.

"Why?" Asami challenged, glaring at her sister.

"Don't try to argue. Get in the house." She said quietly, but furiously.

Asami hesitated then looked at Sai. "Bye. See you later." She told him and moved away, stalking to the house. Ritsu waited a little after her, keeping her eyes on Sai as he walked away, then followed her inside. As soon as she shut the door, she glared at her Asami.

"I can't believe you." She growled. "I told you to watch it with that boy and you didn't listen."

Asami rolled her eyes. "We didn't do anything."

"You kissed!" She accused, her brown eyes furious.

"So what? I'm a girl, he's a boy. It's what we do!" Asami shouted back, turning around and storming up the stairs.

She collapsed on her bed, tears cascading from her blue eyes. There was no reason she couldn't be with Sai. He was learning emotions, she was helping. It didn't hurt anyway if she started to like him in the process.

"Don't cry." Asami jumped and barely suppressed a scream at Sai's voice.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered loudly.

Sai grinned – this time a real grin. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"You care about me?" Asami couldn't stop the words from coming out of her mouth.

The grin turned into a full-blown smile. "Of course. You taught me what love feels like. I like it."

Asami smiled and reached out to hug Sai. "Thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Because you taught me what love is like too."


End file.
